I'm planning a murder

Kaden is everything a man should be. He’s supportive, understanding, generous, kind, loyal and of course very good looking. If he walked down the path towards me I’d know him instantly. He’s also very much in love with Grace. Perfect – except neither Kaden or Grace exist, except in my imagination and on the pages of my new crime series.

I’m currently working my way through the rewrites of the third in the series. The first draft was written as a standalone novel before the DI Grace Tallis series existed. So currently I’m cutting vast sections, deleting characters and turning the Grace that existed in my mind back in 2014 into the current 2021 version.

I spend much of my time alone, dog walking, gardening, horse riding. It gives me time to think about the work I’m absorbed in. Tramping through the woods in the rain with water seeping down my neck and up my sleeves gives me plenty of time to mull over the new direction the book has taken. Sloshing through puddles I wonder, should I kill Kaden, or not? 

Jack, my Border Collie dashes along the muddy path from behind me, the long stick in his jaws bashing against the hem of my raincoat almost knocking me off my feet. I’d been so lost in my thoughts I hadn’t been paying attention to where he was.

I walk further into the forest, the dark trees close around me, the rain that cannot penetrate the canopy has found its way through and collected on the branches and dying leaves. I can’t decide what to do, yet. Eventually the plot will make itself clear to me and I will know. It’s not a conscious decision, instead the book unfolds, making itself known to me as if I were watching a film. Will he live, or die? I don’t know. It’s a strange feeling, to hold someone’s life in your hands even if they don’t really exist.